Are you your worst enemy?

Cover photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

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“The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caves and forests.” Nietzsche. 

When you think about a new personal project, an alternative career path, a fresh start, you dismiss the idea almost immediately as you are afraid of the reactions and opinions of those surrounding you. 

You are terrified of embarking on a transformation in your life. You justify yourself by creating the concept that such a change might not be the right one, hence you give up without even starting. 

Preventing a potential future pain keeps you stifled.

This irrational fear must stop. 

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Change of path

Imagine you wish to shift your career to something you like, podcasting, for instance. Sharing your experiences and talking to people relaxes you. 

A video from YouTube shows all the essentials, so you choose it as your new direction. 

Following, the reactions of your family and friends spring to mind. You imagine the worst.

In your brain, they believe that doing a podcast is neither a real job nor a profitable career. You picture your inner circle looking down on your new plan, giving you a bitter smile, shaking their heads, frowning, making you look like a fool, disrespected and diminished. As a result, you set out on a journey into fear.

Fear Factory has started operations

Those imaginary expressions have damaging effects on you, such as feeling worthless, exhausted, or even sleep deprived.

Based on all of this, you consider your inner circle causes your distress. NOT TRUE.

You and your own fear are the ones holding you back.

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This is how Fear works

Fear stems from thoughts. You assume that if you become a podcaster, you won’t make enough money and perhaps you will end up living on the streets. 

Just as fear derives from your thoughts, these arise from your desires. You want your own circle to approve, respect, and value not only your decision but the occupation. 

So, if that is the desire, and you expect appreciation for podcasters, it results in a sense of failure. 

A plethora of images are projected in your head of yourself on the roads, the face of your loved ones, your friends avoiding you. Fear is producing that fantasy. 

But if the desire goes away, the thought fades, so does the fear. 

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How can you drop a desire? 

You cannot give up a desire by wishing it to disappear. It’s like fighting fire with fire.

Everything boils down to understanding real life – not everybody likes the same as you. 

If you determine you don’t need social green light, thus your desire changes, as well as your thoughts. 

Consider what you crave as a necessity for you and no one else. Do not seek to earn public recognition, instead, gain respect for yourself. 

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How to get rid of Fear?

After recognising your goal, identify the fear, then move backwards to visualise your thought, desire, and finally your understanding of the situation. 

An example is asking someone out. You fear rejection; you picture a possible negative answer, while your desire is a positive response. 

First, be aware of the two answers, ‘yes’ or ‘no’. You’ve got to be ready for both. 

As you are conscious of them, you won’t be afraid of getting either of both. If the answer is ‘yes’, take this person out. If the reply is ‘no’, not an issue, you were already prepared for it. 

Accepting that unfortunate situations could happen makes you brave. 

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What to do once fear is gone?

Experiment. Test with anything you wish but you are scared of doing. A tiny wish at the beginning to see how it works. 

If something is meaningful for you, do it even if the odds are not in your favour. We become what we think. Think of fear, therefore you will be scared.

Change your thoughts, change your life.  

Plato said: “You can forgive a child who is afraid of the dark, but the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of light.” 

You must not fear. When you are fearless, you live.